Feeding time for Amanda Lynn...
So I more or less adopted this poor little nubile Amanda Lynn and took her in and decided to raise her as if she was my own daughter and even though she's 19-years-old she acted like a damn two-year-old crybaby when I made her dinner on her first night with me and opened up a can of Spaghettios. "You're not gonna even heat 'em up?," she asked, as if I were her maid or something. I told her she was gonna eat the damn Spaghettios one way or another and that my work was done having opened up the damn can and that I wasn't gonna jump through hoops to heat 'em up because they taste just fine cold and that maybe she wouldn't notice how cold they were if I locked her in the fridge while she was eating them. She gave me attitude and starts carrying on like a freaking prima donna and spoiled little princess like Hannah Montana or something but once that funnel was taped into place in her mouth she didn't have so much to say anymore and once I started pouring in can after can of Spaghettios she didn't seem to have any more complaints to spew out of her mouth since it was too full of Spaghettios to leave any room for complaining. Raising kids is hard and it's a labor of love. Now, Amanda Lynn is 19 and if she looks damn fine I didn't pay no mind to that since like I said she's like my kid. I paid no mind to those heaving breasts and didn't notice her milky white flesh. If you want to oogle her poor near naked little innocent body as it glistens and glimmers while covered with Spaghettios then I guess that's your problem, you damn perverts, but I was just trying to give the kid sustainance and nourishment and whatnot and Spaghettios am good, healthy food. I got mad because she looked like a messy little baby by the time I was done feeding her and she ain't here no more but I will always think of her every time I see the residue of the Spaghettio sauce in the cracks in my kitchen tiles and I am trying my best not to think badly of her because after all the poor little girl just needed to learn some manners and not everyone knows that Spaghettios are best served cold and children should only speak when spoken to and I didn't ask her if she wanted the damn pasta heated up and so her asking me about it just wasn't appropriate but clearly she didn't know any better though I tried my best to teach her some damn manners.
Amanda Lynn: Messy, naughty, no-good, Spaghettio-spilling, untamed teenager in need of discipline and a bib.
Keep in mind that all of this was done out of LOVE. I mean, the girl needs her noutrients and whatnot. In the interest of patriotism and my undying love for this great country of ours I will mention that Spaghettios are a Franco American product.