Making brekfist for Laney Bug
Laney were so purty and bootiful and whatnot that I done decided I were gonna make her brekfist in my fridge. Because she am so putry and so bootiful that I decided I were gonna treat her real nice and make her brekfist and make her fall in love with me by makin her brefist before I done ate her or fed her to my cats. She sure am purty!
She done look like an angel or angel food cake or somethin! HAW HAW! She were REAL NICE! I put her in a nice straighjecket and then I put her in my fridge and then I done made her brekfist. I done cooked it while she were sleepin and I done cooked it wearin nuthing but my underpants cause it were hot in that there kitchen and Laney were makin me even hotter. You could fry an egg on my back! HAW HAW! She sure am purty! I done sliced up a bananer with my machete and put some of it on her pants. Them pantts were purty. I hope she am gonna like her bananers.
Wakey Wakey! You am locked in a fridge!
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It am gonna pop like a pimple if I keep pushin on it!
I DONE MADE YOU BREKFIST AND ALL YOU DONE WAS SCREAM AND CURSE AT ME! I done forgot to make you coffee. I feel so schtoopid and I wish I were DEAD! You don't love me even tthough I made you brekfist! You didn't even eat your naners! you didn't even eat your Froot Loops! You called me a big dumb hillbilly and I wish I were DEAD!!
